You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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