Walk of Shame. In a state park.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
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University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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