Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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