Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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