woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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