Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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