Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize