p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize