peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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