So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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