Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We won't sleep together?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize