the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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