Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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