this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
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we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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