I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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