I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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