rhymes with "ouble enetration"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize