they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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