you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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