We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
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Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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