Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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