I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize