it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize