Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
40s are totally the cure
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize