Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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