Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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