i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize