he shaved USA in his pubs
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize