I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize