I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I have post one night stand depression
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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