thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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