Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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