New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize