think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize