i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize