I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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