Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
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When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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