Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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