Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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