I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
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I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
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I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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