**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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