I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize