well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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