8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize