I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize