My nipple is on Facebook.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize