Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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