You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
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Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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