Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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