ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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